The blank page is intimidating. There are so many stories that I want to tell, but I don’t always know how. Sometimes I have so many things that I want to say but I don’t know where to start, so I say nothing at all. Other times I stay quiet because the ideas in my head are so big that I can’t find words that are sufficient. I have vague senses, dreamy moods, and lyric images that float around in my head. Certain colors, and sunsets, and words in French. Pairs of alliterative words, and sometimes words that I want to make up. Colors and flavors and fragrances all swim around—a pot pourri of sensations. And it’s so much and so many that I don’t know what to do with it all, or how to organize it into different vignettes and poems and stories. So I grab my iPod and turn on some music and go outside. Being in nature and hearing my favorite melodies makes me feel even more inspired, but it doesn’t always make me find a direction in which to channel the images in my head. Sometimes I end up getting lost in the music or in symphonic fantasies and that’s okay, too. I let my mind wander and sometimes I come up with a new idea. Sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I see a sunset and its beauty makes it impossible to focus on anything else. And I can’t look away because a sunset changes every minute and I’m just so caught up in the awe and wonder of what marvelous things my God can create. And then I’m filled with praise and thanksgiving, and I ask Him what He would have me create. I believe that He gave me this gift for a reason and if I follow Him, He will use it for wonderful things, even if I don’t see the end result of them. He tells me that He has plans for me, and I find my purpose in Him.
And so I go on singing and dreaming and praying and listening and trying to put my ideas down on paper. And I keep on being inspired. I’m inspired by lyrebirds and kites and fireflies and clouds and words like “phantasmagorical.” And I keep pondering and sometimes I write and I swing on swings et je plane. And I can’t even fathom a guess as to what great blessings God is going to pour out on me or how He is going to use me. But I know that He has plans for me, and I smile.
Jeremiah 29: 11-13
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.